Now more than ever, I would take a bullet for my wife. Literally, I would. For this blog, she takes them for me, figuratively of course, all the time. She watches my son as I haul ass to countless late night showings of Uh, can I get one ticket to... all the time. Never does she ask what I'm watching or what the Hell is all this crap on the DVR? Though, I think Nude for Satan [review] raised an eyebrow or two. So when Mrs. Two Dollar Cinema says I want to watch a movie I try to oblige. And when she makes coffee for said movie? Well, then I know. It's business time.
Cue The Vow, starring the nightmarishly cute duo of Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams. Seemingly ejected from the Skynet-created ROMCOM 9000, Magic Mike and Regina George team up to make one of the most groan-inducing feel-good dramas I have ever seen. Please don't misconstrue any part of that as praise, as I hated almost every minute of this turd. But my ladyfriend? She wept. Not a single tear down the cheek (that I could stop with a single finger as I gazed into her eyes), but I'm talking an inconsolable deluge of tears. To be fair, I cried too. Though my tears were pure rage.
So, what had us both leaking from the face? Deep breath. McAdams plays a woman who, after a pretty awesome car accident, loses all memory of her current husband, played by Tatum. Guess what he vows to do? No, you know what? Don't guess. In fact, just smash your face into your phone or monitor and hope that you can forget this movie exists. And, as I hold your perfect face in both of my masculine hands, I promise you. I will never remind you. Every day, I won't. For the rest of your life.
So, what had us both leaking from the face? Deep breath. McAdams plays a woman who, after a pretty awesome car accident, loses all memory of her current husband, played by Tatum. Guess what he vows to do? No, you know what? Don't guess. In fact, just smash your face into your phone or monitor and hope that you can forget this movie exists. And, as I hold your perfect face in both of my masculine hands, I promise you. I will never remind you. Every day, I won't. For the rest of your life.
