Friday, December 6, 2013

Better get my pants.

This past Thanksgiving, there was a lot of talk about convergence. Seems that once every eleventy-billion years the stars align for something so rare no one on the planet today will ever see it again. In fact, if not for @Bubbawheat, I wouldn't have experienced it at all.

While Hanukkah and Thanksgiving overlapping may have thrilled some of you, I was more concerned with the Nine Realms lining up in the shockingly awesome sequel, Thor: The Dark World. 

Somewhat half-heartedly, I headed to the theater last Wednesday night (alone, tear) to see something. The second Thor was the only option when I got there, other than Catching Fire. Earlier I had taken to Twitter, soliciting which of the two blockbuster sequels was more worth my time. Thor had managed a narrow 2 -1 victory, so that's where I headed.  Yeah, my Twitter clout is pretty impressive, huh?

Actually impressive, for me, was just about every single aspect of The Dark World. Maybe I was just happy to be there (and I'm coming off a record string of dogshit flicks), but I found the second Thor to be one of the best Marvel flicks yet, trailing only The Avengers [review] and possibly the first Iron Man. It really is that good.

The story focuses on the aforementioned convergence, with each of the Nine Realms lining up and making some crazy stuff reality. On Earth, it seems some weird portal has opened, allowing some little kids to throw random shit inside and watch it disappear and reappear. And while that sounds like a fine way to spend an afternoon, Jane Foster (the always great/surprisingly still-interested Natalie Portman) and her crew show up to investigate, only to see Jane end up tits deep in another dimension. There, she contacts some mystical relic from another world, constructed to hold what is basically the liquid form of badass power. Well, the secret sauce gets out and into Jane, making her highly desirable to some long dormant race of Dark Elves. Thor shows up and kicks ass all over the universe. It sounds ridiculous, but trust me, it's pretty cool.

Even though I really enjoyed the story, the thing that worked for me the most was the light-hearted vibe that permeated the entire flick. Sure there are moments of seriousness and tension, but for the most part everything is so damn charming and easy-going, at times I thought I was watching a comedy. Thor and Jane's relationship is complicated, you know, because Thor has to routinely save the f--king galaxy all the time. She tries to date other guys, but c'mon, it's kinda hard to follow up a dude who can throw a hammer into space. But an even better relationship in the film, is the sibling rivalry of Thor and Loki. This arc is incredibly fun, and yes, I'm obviously a simpleton, but it surprised me on more than one occasion. I'm telling you, it's good stuff.

Also good stuff, are the Yays and Boos. Well not really, but it's the holidays, so let's be nice to the poor kids, okay? They can't help it that they always spoil the movie. And that they're so trivial. And sarcastic.

They got him that chestplate for Father's Day.

  • Unrelated, but this was my first time seeing the new Robocop trailer. Looks pretty frickin' cool.
  • That opening sword vs. laser battle was the right kind of ridiculous. Did anyone else think this seemed like an infinitely better Episode III?
  • Even though it was in the preview, Thor destroying that rock monster was great. Glad he introduced himself prior. Very polite.
  • I'm telling you, I was like a thirteen year old girl watching Thor and Jane deal with their issues. You told your Dad about me? Aww, that Thor. So dreamy. Chris Hemsworth, even when needlessly washing his hands shirtless, is the best.
  • Speaking of dreamy, how about Idris Elba reprising his role as the most kickass guardian of the rainbow bridge? Goodness. I thought he ruled in the first one. Here? He's even better.
  • I'm pretty sure kids would read more books if they were like the ones on Asgard. It appears that space Vikings actually invented the Kindle Fire.
  • Asgard. This place is brilliant. Hell, even their prisons look gorgeous.
  • Rene Russo! Whoa, she kicks all kinds of ass as Thor's mom. No, I'm not joking, I mean this literally. She basically unleashes a Yoda-esque level of surprisingly deft housing of elven bitches. She even talks shit too, which is a huge plus. Oh, that strong Nordic jawline bloodline.
  • Stan Lee. Awesome as always.
  • But the best cameo? Ah, I don't want to ruin it...but here's a hint: The Human Torch is in this.
  • Zachary Levi. Sure, his costume and face are kind of distracting. And he's basically playing the real-life version of Flynn from Tangled [review], but...he's still kind of...great.
  • Tom Hiddleston's Loki has been awesome for a couple of movies now, but this has to be his best turn yet. While I especially loved him rotting away in prison, he also got to kick some ass, too. Apparently, Loki is a big fan of the Asgardian pocketknife.
  • "Betray him and I'll kill you," said Everyone.
  • The vibe. Honestly, the first Thor [review] was everyone's first crack at these characters, let's call it first semester, freshman year. The Dark World? Everyone's basically Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused. 
  • And finally, and this is ludicrous, but my favorite scene -no, moment- in the entire film? Thor and Jane enter the apartment and Thor politely hangs up his hammer. Whoever thought of this has my undying appreciation.
I'm pretty sure I saw someone dressed like this at Borders
  • Kat Dennings. Yes, your breasts are gigantic, but somehow, despite that,  I still find your character to be rather annoying. Hmm. I must be getting old.
  • Vanaheim. Sure, that's probably accurate to Norse mythology, but as a city name it just sounds silly. I was hoping they were off to Van Diego next. Go Ducks!
  • Chris O'Dowd. Now, you can never Boo O'Dowd. Never. But you can Boo not enough O'Dowd.
  • I actually really enjoyed all the psychotic ramblings from Stellan Skarsgard's Erk Selvig. But seeing him naked only made me think of this. And that's wholly unacceptable.
  • Main bad guy can sense the Aether, but he can't sense a hologram? Seems odd.
  • And speaking of weird elven shit, what was with them inserting things into each other? Not sure Lord Elrond would approve of such antics...
  • The second stinger? As funny as I thought this movie was, I could have lived without that attempt at humor. Just saying...
  • And finally...when the Hell is this Marvel Universe thing simply going to fall in on itself? Can they really keep all of these storylines together? 'Cause I don't even understand a certain guy showing up and saying One down, five to go. Is he talking about Thor sequels?

After a string of pretty awful movies, I was glad that some people on Twitter steered me in the right direction and suggested I catch The Dark World. And even though it didn't get enough votes, I'll probably end up seeing Catching Fire eventually. In fact, I'll even buy your ticket, if you'd like to come with. Seriously. Just meet me at the theater. The next time Hanukkah and Thanksgiving overlap.


  1. Great review! I loved Thor 2, I liked it a lot better than the first one. And you're right, that Human Torch cameo is the best. As much as I love Skarsgard, the nakedness did remind me of that too, and I wanted to weep.

    1. Thanks! I think I've only seen the first one just once (all the way through, anyway), but I'm with you in the fact that I enjoyed this one a lot more. It was incredibly entertaining from just about every angle.

      I'm so opposed to seeing that movie (those posters are so cringe-worthy, my goodness), but I'm so damned intrigued. That said, probably could have lived my life just fine without seeing Stellan's O-face.

  2. Awesome review, so glad you liked this one! First Thor is my favorite Marvel movie with Avengers and Thor 2 on second place. I agree Loki was the most awesome here. You don't like Kat Dennings? Dude! I hought the breasts will be enough :) She is so adorable though, as is Jane. And Stan Lee cameo was awesome. But my favorite part?

    - is your brother coming?
    - Loki is dead

    1. Yes, thanks for the nudge in the right direction. I owe you.

      Wow, you really liked the first Thor that much? Hmm...I wonder why........

      Loki almost stole the movie. Hiddleston rules.

      She is adorable, but she's a little too 'let me say something cute even if the world's ending' for my tastes. And I was desperate for some more Boos.

      Oh, good call. That bit was just another example of how playful every second of this movie is. Brilliant!

  3. I enjoyed this one and it was even more hilarious than I expected. You could even call it the first full-on Marvel superhero comedy! LOVE O'Dowd and yes, not enough of him here :D

    1. Yep. I completely agree with you Ruth. This one certainly falls into the comedy genre without question. It's quietly hilarious.

      O'Dowd. That guy is the best.

  4. Glad I steered you in a good direction, your site's in my reader list but I don't think Wordpress likes blogspot blogs so I missed this one when it showed up earlier. It seems like everyone who enjoyed this movie puts it in the same spot, that's also where I would put it just below Avengers and Iron Man. Though I should watch both Hunger Games movies eventually, I get the feeling I would actually like them.

    1. Yeah, good call. I didn't really love the first Hunger Games, but I'm sure the second is decent. The second Thor floored with me with its awesomeness. Bring on Cap!

      Third place sounds right, though I'd listen to someone saying it's better than the original Iron Man, blasphemous as that may initially sound.

  5. You are definitely not getting old -- I know this because you're significantly younger than *I* am. Sometimes even great breasts can't redeem a character.

    1. Significantly? Not sure about that.

      Your use of sometimes suggests that it's entirely possible, which is quite funny coming from an woman, not some poor sap obsessed with them. Women, not...well...