There was a death in the family yesterday and me and my wife (and ever our young son, Matty) are not sure how to deal with the loss. It was one of those unexpected things that came out of nowhere and blindsided all of us. As we pick up the pieces and make final arrangements, I honestly think that there was an amazing act of nobility in the final moments, as truly frightening as it was. This post will be a sincere tribute to that brave soul. Godspeed. You left us too soon.
My 50-inch plasma television tried to save me. I swear to you it did. I was watching Lars von Trier's Antichrist and my TV f--king exploded. I'm not bullshitting you in the least.
As my son slept soundly upstairs in his room, my dog Dodger and I were trying to stomach this film. Antichrist opens inexplicably enough, but my pup and I had made it to a scene where Willem Dafoe finds some strange thing in the woods. He bends down to touch it, and he is startled (and we were scared shitless oursleves) to find it's a fox. The fox sort of hisses at him. Dafoe stares at it, bewildered. But there's another fox, and this one is a bloody f--king mess. It unfurls itself, ripping apart its flesh and exposing its internal organs. We cut back to the first fox, and it says in a rather sinister voice:
Chaos reigns.
And I swear to you, f--king promise you, this is the moment my TV offed itself in one of the loudest f--king noises I've ever heard. BOOM! For a second, I thought it was the movie and was thrilled (though I might've half-pissed myself). But once I realized it was simply my eleven hundred dollar television saying goodbye/f--k you? Well, I understood then I'd made a bad decision. No, not that I wasted that much money on a television. And no, not the fact that I didn't buy a warranty for that television. What I did that was truly a bad call? I continued watching the movie (on my laptop).
As my son slept soundly upstairs in his room, my dog Dodger and I were trying to stomach this film. Antichrist opens inexplicably enough, but my pup and I had made it to a scene where Willem Dafoe finds some strange thing in the woods. He bends down to touch it, and he is startled (and we were scared shitless oursleves) to find it's a fox. The fox sort of hisses at him. Dafoe stares at it, bewildered. But there's another fox, and this one is a bloody f--king mess. It unfurls itself, ripping apart its flesh and exposing its internal organs. We cut back to the first fox, and it says in a rather sinister voice:
Chaos reigns.
And I swear to you, f--king promise you, this is the moment my TV offed itself in one of the loudest f--king noises I've ever heard. BOOM! For a second, I thought it was the movie and was thrilled (though I might've half-pissed myself). But once I realized it was simply my eleven hundred dollar television saying goodbye/f--k you? Well, I understood then I'd made a bad decision. No, not that I wasted that much money on a television. And no, not the fact that I didn't buy a warranty for that television. What I did that was truly a bad call? I continued watching the movie (on my laptop).
