Some guys like the Grammys. That's cool. I mean, I appreciate them, respect them...but they're not something that turns my head. Same goes for the Emmys. Congrats on those. You should be proud.
Other guys like the Oscars. Or the Tonys. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
But me? As long as I can remember, it's the Globes that I'm obsessed with. Those wonderful, wonderful...Golden Globes.
I don't think Everly, a small-time action-flick (starring a then 47-year-old Salma Hayek) garnered much attention during the 2014 award season, but damned if I couldn't take my eyes off it. Well, when I could keep them open, anyway. Loud, stupid and utterly f--king ridiculous, director Joe Lynch's flick is like ordering a 10 piece from McDonalds. Yeah, they're might be some breast meat in there, but also a lot of awful bullshit, too.
Hayek plays the titular Everly, who just so happens to be a total f--king whore. No, not like, she's a slut or anything, she's just the finest piece of tail in a stable of prostitutes hired/kidnapped by some mysterious members of the Japanese mob. Things go tits up, and Everly finds herself having to shoot and stab her way out of the top dude's penthouse. This wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, except that there's an infinite number of goons and rival whores looking to knock herup off.
And that's before her mom and estranged daughter show up and join the fray. Because that's who you'd invite to a shootout: your bitter f--king mom and your adorable four-year-old daughter. Trust me, neither of these ladies are your Huckleberry.
Other guys like the Oscars. Or the Tonys. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
But me? As long as I can remember, it's the Globes that I'm obsessed with. Those wonderful, wonderful...Golden Globes.
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| Do you notice a sign in the front of my house that says Dead Hooker Storage? |
Hayek plays the titular Everly, who just so happens to be a total f--king whore. No, not like, she's a slut or anything, she's just the finest piece of tail in a stable of prostitutes hired/kidnapped by some mysterious members of the Japanese mob. Things go tits up, and Everly finds herself having to shoot and stab her way out of the top dude's penthouse. This wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, except that there's an infinite number of goons and rival whores looking to knock her
And that's before her mom and estranged daughter show up and join the fray. Because that's who you'd invite to a shootout: your bitter f--king mom and your adorable four-year-old daughter. Trust me, neither of these ladies are your Huckleberry.
