It's so easy to tear something down. In fact, I do it all the time on this crappy blog. For this post, I've decided instead of the usual destroying, I'd go the other way and create. I have a wholly unique idea for a film that is nothing like any other movie ever made
. It goes a little something like this:
For the majority of the planet, everything seems perfectly normal. But, living among us, is a secret group of potentially dangerous creatures. For the most part, we've been existing together without incident for years, but something major is about to happen, something not from Earth. Plucked from obscurity to aid in this secret war, is a young hotshot upstart who plays by his own rules. My plan, get this, is to partner him with some gruff older guy, who may or may not be too old for this shit. They'll save the world, if only they don't kill each other first.
This idea is so good, I can't believe they never made anything like this. Anyway, I'm thinking Justin Timberlake and Harrison Ford would be perfect as the leads. Oh, and those secret creatures living among us? Motherf--king werewolves!
Yep, I've already got the title picked out: Werewolf Task Force.
Or, we can abbreviate it to...
What the f--k, R.I.P.D.
? You might set the record for the most obviously derivative film
in the last twenty years of cinema (and that's really saying something). And, of all movies to crib from, frickin' Men In Black
? I guess it's not so bad. I mean, the third M.I.B
flick came out way back in 2012 [review
], right? I doubt anyone even remembers it.
Maybe with out the overwhelming familiarity, R.I.P.D
might have had a chance. The effects are decent, the cast is charmingly silly, and it all moves at a breezy pace. But, without the novelty of originality, you can't help but sit there and compare every little thing
to the Smith/Jones alien flicks. Trust me, it's impossible.
Anyway, to be recruited into the Rest In Peace Department,
police officers must die. Then, they are basically given the choice of corralling naughty ghosts or after judgement, going straight to Hell. Nick, played by can't-catch-a-break Ryan Reynolds, reluctantly joins up, though not to shoot Slimer in the balls. No, he's more interested in somehow reconciling with his French widow, Julia (an adorable Stephanie Szostak). I crossed my fingers he would scoot a penny up the side of a door and then hit the ol' pottery wheel, but no luck.