Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Isn't normal wonderful?

Maybe early Weezer. Maybe
Red Hot Chili Peppers, too. 
The entire Pieces of You album? Probably (Don't ask). 

If I was gifted the curse of recreating an entire band's catalog, I'm not sure I could do it. I mean, obviously, I couldn't do it well, but holy shit, I'm not sure I could do it at all. And if I had to, like, had to, I could probably give you most of Appetite for Destruction...uh...including that weird-ass drawing that came with the lyrics, too. (anyone?)

No Octopus's Garden? Blasphemy.
Luckily for all of us, in Danny Boyle's oddly-maligned flick Yesterday, the guy responsible for bringing back (/inventing?) The Beatles has an impeccable memory, and is an excellent musician. And rather handsome. And honestly, a pretty nice dude all around (another miss for me there, too).

Set in a world where the Fab Four never existed, this delightful little flick is essentially the lowest of low-key sci-fi (assuming that's a thing) mixed with the very typical dude, she's been right in front of you the whole time romantic comedy. Incredibly sweet and consistently charming, I was all in on Yesterday. I'm not even a massive fan of The Beatles (I know the, most of them), but I worship Boyle, and found myself marveling that this was his movie, you know? It's just so...serene. And not even a drug-induced serenity, either.

My sister initially protested because she thought it was some corporate way to keep John, Paul, George and Ringo commercially relevant, but I told her to cut the shit and stop sounding like a pretentious a-hole. I heard the same thing about Lilo & Stitch and Elvis and that movie was f--king awesome. STFU and please get some Reese's Pieces. (my sister is the only person on the planet that I know of that always gets candy at the movies)

Look, I pretty much enjoy any flick where some guy wants to get with Lily James - even if he's not robbing post offices. And here, we get Himesh Patel who's just so f--king great, I'm not sure why he's not in every movie ever made. Throw in the fact that we're listening to a zillion f--king Beatles songs, and I'm not entirely sure how you can resist. Hell, I even came around on Rocky, and that guy was kind of a dick.

Speaking of being initially unlikable, here are the Yays and Boos. I thought this concept was a winner, but judging by the rest of you (and the box office)...I guess I'm just a...loser?
This bit is straight magic.

  • This was the first time in over a decade I took both two siblings with me to the movies. If we ever hit three, then it's confirmed: they have movie theaters in Hell.
  • I wish Lily James managed me. Rowr.
  • Aw, Gavin. Aww. What a fine chap, no?
  • The fact that the other two people just wanted to say thank you made me so happy. Initially, they made me so nervous.
  • Ed Sheeran takes a lot of shit, but he's pretty good here...being a bit of a prick, sure, but clearly he's in on the joke (his ring tone is so f--king awesome).
  • The other things the world had lost are great. Especially that last one (poor Ginny).
  • And finally, there's a bit of a surprise cameo...sort of...that's pretty f--king incredible, honestly. Pretty goddamned bittersweet, right?
I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

  • I think the only Beatles music I've ever actually owned...was their *whispers* ...Rock game? *runs*
  • God is telling you not to go back to teaching? Wait, God says this to people? Really? Are you there God, it's me, Mar--ah, nevermind.
  • But that means no Wonderwall, too.
  • Holy shit, are Jack's parents the worst. You're about to hear Let it Be for f--k's sake - shut it.
  • Look, I couldn't give you 1/100th of Eleanor Rigby, Jack. It's cool if you just let that one go, mate.
  • Speaking of, does any one else wonder if all these Beatles' songs would still slay today? Or is just me? *crickets* 
  • The White Album has some diversity issues. 
  • And finally, no one seems more interested in derailing this entire endeavor as much as Kate McKinnon. I get it, she's the annoying face of the record industry, sure, but holy f--k everything about her character and performance took me out of the film. You know those parts in old 3D movies where they intentionally jab things at the scream just for effect (but it makes not sense to the story whatsoever)? That's McKinnon here.
Since I didn't like all that much from this summer's cinematic offerings, I think it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that Yesterday easily makes my top five, possibly even top three.  Sure, it probably helps that my younger brother and sister were there with me (as opposed to going alone, which is typically how I roll), but I hope upon the inevitable re-watch that this one holds up.

In the meantime, however, in case I ever head out on my bicycle (which I don't own), let me go ahead and start committing Appetite for Destruction to memory now. Honestly, I think I could do it. Uh...

..with a little help from my friends.


  1. "some guy wants to get with Lily James" Oh sweet God I am having flashbacks 😫

    This looks cute so I will probably catch it some time but I am pretty busy watching 8 seasons of SNL here 😈

    1. It might be one on my favorite genres. Assuming that alleged sequel gets made!

      If only Hader was in this, dammit. If only.

  2. 100% agree about Kate McKinnon. She was terrible in this. I thought Ed Sheeran was too, but he seemed to have worked better for you.

    I still kind of hate this movie. I wanted to like it so badly and I just didn't. Hamish and Lily were the only good parts.

    1. I thought Sheeran kind of sucked, but that he was at the very least in on the joke. Still, I don't know what secrets this dude knows, but he really shouldn't be in anything.

      Hamish and Lily were 90% of the movie!!!!

      But yeah, holy shit was McKinnon was awful. I think she's pretty funny, but pretty much hated every minute she was on screen.

  3. Ahh I forgot this happened!! What a concept. I'm way too post-Soviet/young for the Beatles so I just kinda acknowledged this was coming out and moved on with my life.....but I would do a lot for Danny Boyle, so I might just watch this. Even if just for this intriguing surprise cameo?!!

    1. You forgot? Damn you and your youthful youth. I'm not even sure where I am (mid-Soviet?), but as I mentioned, I'm not even the biggest Beatles fan. I am, however, always a fan of a handsome man with a guitar, and in that regard, this might just a must see.

      Oooh...that...uh, cameo.