Friday, August 26, 2011

Drew, you had just left the bar when I saw midget princess.

You know how Amazon decides what you like? It uses your search history and suggests things you may want to buy. Right now it always recommends that I buy blu-rays and baby food, but there was a time when it repeatedly suggested I buy the book I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. While I find Amazon to be extremely persuasive at times, I never bit. I have a thing where I don't read books if there's already a movie. I know the book is always better but I, like you, have only so much time (though this blog may clearly suggest otherwise). Which leads me to...

I hope they serve Dr. Pepper.
...the low-budget 2009 comedy, you guessed it, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. It's been years since I've seen a low-budge, independent flick, but sometimes, you gotta change it up.

All the staples are here. Lame alt-rock soundtrack? Check. Acting that can actually hurt your face? Big check. Long-winded speeches that only happen in independent movies? 10-4. But if you can get through all of the above and the first 30 minutes or so, you might like this one. Honestly, the opening scene had me thinking WTF? Then the movie started rolling along and I was left thinking just F.

Somehow though, things started to change. I actually got into it. This is made significantly more challenging because the main character is possibly the biggest prick ever. He's like Christian Bale in American Psycho minus the dog-killing and general awesomeness. You will hate this guy. Factor in that this is based on a true story and you may ask yourself, "Is anybody this big an a-hole?" Or, "How is he not murdered?"

Gray Shirt? Totally from Bring It On. Not that I've seen it six times.
If you can make it to the climax of the film, be warned. It will make you want to throw up in your mouth. Think of the toilet scene in Dumb & Dumber and triple it. Or something. I can't unsee it. It's like the worst toilet in Scotland. What's truly great is it's as funny as it is deserved. And it's played extremely well.

The conclusion is predictable, but ultimately satisfying. I was surprised at how much I was vested in these jag-offs. If you happen to catch this one, and twenty minutes in you smash your fist through the screen and curse my name, that's fair. But if you stick around, you might be surprised. Just sayin'...

Unrelated, but amusing. A woman I work with was detailing her pre-marriage dating-life to me and she said, "Yeah, I was like, collecting dicks." That imagery is pure magic.

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