Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I'm telling you, this is the one.

Would you want to be the president? Really? I don't think that I would, honestly. Yeah, the power and the control would be unmatched, but so would the stress and the bullshit. Seemingly, you could make an actual difference, but as I get older I feel that's not the case. At all. Maybe it's the way the media frames it, or maybe it's simply the truth, but it seems like nothing truly important gets done. Ever. Maybe if I was dirt poor, I'd feel it. I'd know it. Or maybe (and this is a much less likely maybe) if I was really rich I'd feel it on that end. But being a decidedly average sub-middle class jerk? Business as usual, friends.

I'm pretty sure this is my wife's dream man.
My groundbreaking insights lead us to yesterday's political thriller, The Ides of March. Directed by and starring one George Clooney, this 2011 flick is tightly-paced and superbly acted. I don't watch a lot of political thrillers (although I loved The Phantom Menace), but this one hooked me rather quickly. Clooney hasn't taken a misstep since, I don't know, Batman and Robin? The guy simply delivers. Always. He's like a less-douchey Karl Malone.

Joined by a stellar cast consisting of consistently awesome actors, Clooney shines in the small(er) role of Governor Mike Morris. I know, I'm a Tiger Beat poster away from basically divorcing my wife and legally changing my name to Michael Clayton, but seriously, Clooney is the perfect guy to play a likable, everyman politician. Shit. I might even vote for this fictional character if given the chance. Just kidding. I'd never actually vote. That's for dorks.

She's definitely worth $900, right?
Okay, I'm drifting - let's reel it in here. I really enjoyed this flick, a lot more than I thought I would. It's timely, it's interesting and it's also very, very frustrating. Huh? Well, it clearly shows you how frickin' impossible it is to believe in just about any politician. Simply put, there are no good ones. None. It's just choosing the least horrible of the bunch. It's a lot like reading my posts actually...

On that note, let's break it down with some Yays and Boos, can-you-believe-this-guy-was-on-The-Facts-of-Life? style.
This guy.
  • I'll say it again - what a cast. Ryan Gosling, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, Marissa Tomei and, and my man Jeffrey Wright? Ridiculous.
  • Gosling's character is very kickass. Dude's so into the campaign it derails the love train. Don't f--k with this guy. Even if he doesn't have his scorpion jacket on, you don't want any...
  • You know a movie is good when it features the always awesome Paul Giamatti, right? Right. But when he gets worked up and vigorously scratches his beard? Oh, it's on motherf--kers.
  • Really enjoyed the zombie phone call. That's gotta sting.
  • The scene in the deserted kitchen between Clooney and Gosling. Setting? Ridiculous. Everything else? Fantastic. There's no note. Well, guess we should call Paul, huh?
  • Totally off-topic, but Marissa Tomei looks a lot like my aunt Nancy in this one. Being that I have a thing for Tomei...well, that's a Boo. Big time.
  • No one, no one in this movie has any real values. That's messed up, man. Faith? Shattered.
  • Cursing! Goodness. We started this when the little guy was asleep and everything was cool. Matty wakes up and all anyone has to say is f--k you and f--k off. C'mon, guys. Think of the children, you f--king assholes.
And on that, I'm out! If you have another minute in your precious day, take a peek at my sister's site. It's linked in the corner, or you can just click here. Oh, and I'll just apologize now for her antics. I don't know where she gets it.


  1. Hmmm, you make this sound a lot more interesting than the trailers. I might have to grab this at the red box and give it look.

    Your the person that liked the Phantom Menace!

    1. First - I think you'll like it. Definitely Redbox worthy. Although, in my book, damn near everything is.

      My Phantom Menace comment was actually a dig, though apparently not a good one. I thought all the political ramblings undermined what we all came for...that is more lightsabers (and Wookies), and less aliens from feudal Japan.

  2. Great review! I have not yet seen this one, but I probably should. I definitely love Clooney and Gosling and I didn't realize so many other badass people were in it. Plus, cynical politics? Sounds about right to me. As if I need more to cry about when I go to the voting booth. Sob. That's it, I'm going to watch Dave again and pretend I have faith in humanity.

  3. Ryan Gosling and Marisa Tomei have been in another movie before but in different situations. It's like high school sometimes with those A- listers.

    And it irks me that some reviewers/audiences (not you) saw Stephen Meyers as an idealistic character which in 'reality' he only cared about the image and semblance of idealism and change.

  4. Awesome review! Gosling's character was kick ass indeed, he had such anger in his eyes I was waiting for him to punch someone. And I agree about Marisa Tomei's looks in this one, what the hell was up with that?

    1. Gosling has now cornered the market on quiet intensity. It's great.

      As for Tomei? Yeah, weird choice, perhaps? It's kind of hard to look at a haggard Tomei (who's very attractive) and not question what the Hell is going on.

  5. So we watched this last night, and I was happy to see that you had already reviewed it. Loved the cast, but thought the exact same thing about Marisa Tomei - what the heck?? Really enjoyed Ryan Gosling's performance - he started out so optimistic and committed to the campaign, and ended up doing whatever he had to to further his career. Really makes you wonder if there are any respectable politicians out there.

    1. You thought she looked my aunt Nancy, too? Hmm. That's odd.

      Glad you liked it though, I thought it was soooo good. Clooney is can't miss as a director. It's him vs. Affleck in the actor as director showdown. That's after the settle the 'so dreamy' showdown.