|I hate this so much I actually love it.|
Look at it. Seriously. Look at that poster. That actually exists. You want to know what's even crazier? In the movie, they don't even go on a motherf***ing roller-coaster.
Okay, I might be overselling it, but Zookeeper really does suck. I know, surprise! I wanted to give it a shot not only so I would have a Z movie on the review index (and this truly is a Z-movie), but I thought it would be something that I could watch with my son that wasn't a certain Pixar movie that will remain nameless for the time being. Here was the pitch:
Matty: Whatchoo watchin', Daddy?
Me: The Monkey Movie. You want to watch it with me?
Matty: Nooooo...I don't want to watch the monkey movie. I watch Cars 2!
|He can't believe animals can speak. I can't believe you're reading this.|
|This scene is actually kind of funny. Damn it.|
Occasionally though, he is pretty amusing. Oh, not nearly enough to warrant an entire viewing of this movie, but enough that I didn't consider ejecting the disc and urinating all over it. Isn't that what everybody does with Redbox movies? Can't be just me...
Three quick positives? 1) Rosario Dawson. She gets more beautiful every time I see her. The pinnacle for me is probably Clerks II, but there's room to discuss. 2) Boston setting. Not really important other than Donnie Wahlberg getting to speak his native tongue for each of his seven lines and the occasional shot of the T. 3) Kickstart My Heart. It's a state law that Motley Crew makes everything better. Even talking animal movies.