Thursday, May 10, 2012

They f--king forgot my birthday.

My, how time flies. A year ago this evening, I started this silly little movie blog. I didn't tell anyone about it, I just let it kind of sit there. Slowly, I started watching movies and trying to come up with something to say. I wanted to do something different, which led me to thinking of my then one and half year old son. I imagined him reading this when he's older (much older) and I wanted to let him know about his dad through my love of movies. See, there are many bloggers out there writing much better reviews than I ever could, so I wisely opted out of that niche. I decided to try to relate to the film, and to share some ridiculous idea or story that (possibly/hopefully) relates. Sometimes it has worked, most times...well, not so much.

I really want to keep this blog to movie reviews (only), but tonight I want to celebrate a full year of blogging ridiculousness. If you're a regular, I want to tell you that I appreciate you very much (though you could comment more, you tight-lipped bastard). If you've stumbled on this post by mistake, I apologize there's no hardcore pornography here. Well, not yet. I'm talking to the guy who searched for 'vagina beauty.' And the dude looking for 'banana in the anus porn.' Sorry to let the team down.

Okay, to keep it moving, some quick stats. For the year, I've watched and wrote up posts for 133 movies. I wrote up everything I saw in its entirety except for I Am Number Four. That was a flick I showed in school so I watched it four times in one day. I honestly couldn't stomach writing about it. I've also watched almost all of Soul Surfer and The American, but without seeing the endings, I didn't think I had enough to let it fly. Maybe I'll revisit those soon. One of the arbitrary rules that I've established, is that I'm only going to watch (and review) movies I haven't seen before, so that's made me hate my blu ray collection. Why buy them if I'm never going watch them again? Though, I did watch 50/50 again - but that was because the wife wanted to.

I hate lists, because I'm probably the most wishy-washy prick alive, but I decided to make a Top and Bottom 10 list of what I saw this past year. It (currently, anyway) looks something like this:

Top 10
  1. Drive - So good, I'm actually afraid to watch it again. 
  2. The Fighter - It's sad, but these people are my family.
  3. Midnight In Paris - A very sweet film. I loved Wilson in this.
  4. The Raid: Redemption - Wow. Wow. Wow.
  5. The Descendants - Made me homesick.
  6. 50/50 - This one, unfortunately, means a lot to me.
  7. Bellflower - I didn't know what I was getting into. Still don't.
  8. The Ides of March - Such a tightly-wound thriller.
  9. Super 8 - People I love hated it. They're stupid and ugly.
  10. Tangled - My wife and sister loved it. Damn it...I did, too.
Honorable Mention: Monsters, The Brothers Bloom and Like Crazy. Three small films that I enjoyed immensely. 

Bottom 10
  1. Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star - Almost impressively bad.
  2. Transformers 3 - Wasted money. Ours. Theirs.
  3. 2012 - I was rooting against humanity.
  4. Cars 2 - I never thought I would hate a Pixar film.
  5. Ghost Rider II - If only my skull would've burst into flames.
  6. Jonah Hex - I knew it was bad, but it was actually worse.
  7. Legion - If Lifetime made a 'horror' movie, this would be it.
  8. The Darkest Hour - More like the darkest 89 minutes.
  9. No Strings Attached - No Fun Attached.
  10. Velvet Goldmine - Not for me. Or anyone. Well, one guy.
Dishonorable Mention: The awfulness of Zookeeper, and the underwhelming Drag Me to Hell. Indeed.

WITH LOVE: Special thanks to my family. Kim, for putting up with this for a full calendar year (though would it kill her to read it every now and then? Wait, it actually might). My sister, who, when near, always is down for whatever, be it horror, drama or weirdly experimental French flicks. Co-workers! Flem! An avid reader (who never comments - jerkface) who's smart as shit, always a good thing! HW! Our editor in chief! Thanks for all your help, on and offline! Dunph, VW and Bundy - appreciate the visits. Mr. Joe, maybe one day I'll let you know whether the movie is good or not...even though I'm never really sure. Bloggers! M. Hufstader - You have routinely inspired me. Thank you very much for that! Dan the Man - You were one of the first bloggers reading this nonsense. Thank you for the kind words. Sati - I'm in awe of your site. Prometheus better be good. Shout outs to Ty @ Comeuppance Reviews, Patrick @ bananafeed, Joe @ Multiplex Slut and anyone else I've forgot to mention.You guys rule.

- m.brown


  1. Aw, shucks, thanks MB :) Really enjoy the blog and sincerely hope it continues for many years to come. Keep those anecdotal intro paragraphs coming - they're my favorite part. And the Yays-and-Boos lists - those are good too. And don't stop with the witty labels at the bottom. Heck, just keep doing what you're doing!
    [hedge funds]

  2. Congrats on your full yearversary! I'm actually completely impressed that you've reviewed everything you've seen this year. I'm way too ADD to go through with something like that. Still, great lists, and thanks for the shout out, homie!

    1. You're welcome! Thanks for stopping by and cracking me up. I'm curious as to the flicks you didn't write up. You must watch TONS of stuff!

  3. Good comeback.

    I'm afraid that one of us is completely wring about Super 8. Maybe we should watch it again....

    Oh wait. You moved to the other side of the planet.

    Way to go.

  4. Thank you so much for your kind words! Keep up the great work :)

    1. Of course! I really dig your site, it's frickin' beautiful. Thanks for the support!

  5. Love this list! You are spot-on about Legion. Haha.

    1. Could have been a decent B (or C) movie, but it was just terrible in an awful way. The guy who put the preview together was brilliant, though.

    2. Definitely agree. The preview made it look fun. What a disappointment...same goes for Priest too. That was PG-13 crud. That should have been a cool R-rated flick.

      Also thanks for the nice shout-out too.

  6. Yeah, I am impressed with the site. You put a lot of personal stuff in your reviews and now it makes sense. I've got little ones too, so I can relate.

    1. Thanks for the kind words.

      The personal stuff is in there as a time capsule, for my son (and for me as well). It helps me remember the movies, too.

      How old are yours?

  7. The time capsule thing is genius. I've got a 1 1/2 and 4 year old. They make everyday fun!

  8. I think if we have another one...I'll have to shut down this silly endeavour. The only reason I have any time is that I have summers off.

    And yes, they make it fun. Exhausting, but fun.